Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Worth his weight in gold


I've said it before, but there are exceptions to EVERY rule, including my own. Dog the Bounty Hunter, a well-known Baby Boomer, is that exception. I'm guessing it's because he's married to a Gen X'er. We have that beneficial effect on people.

Taste of Edmonton 2009

The previous two days I have enjoyed the feast available at the 20th Annual Taste of Edmonton. There is nearly every food imaginable available for your culinary consumption. As a result, it draws a lot of people every year, so one naturally expects there to be crowds.

What is unreasonable to expect, however, is if someone...oh, let's say ME, for instance...purposely finds a place far removed from the set path of pedestrian traffic to enjoy her meal, that I should still be sought out by complete strangers only to be jostled about because they, as they claimed, "didn't see me".

I, for those of you unaware of my stature, am NOT invisible. Neither am I short or diminutive in the least. I am the complete, polar opposite of INVISIBLE.

Needless to say, it was the Baby Boomers who did the most damage. I very nearly ended up wearing rather than eating my lunch on countless occasions, and all during a single lunch hour. Why? Who the #$%* knows! I was standing there. Some short circuit inside the brains of Baby Boomers goes off and says "COMMENCE ANNOYING BEHAVIOUR".

Neither do they recognize the glaringly simple concept of "the lineup" or "queue". People lined up are generally in that line waiting for something. This does NOT mean, "Oh, okay, let's butt into the line and just generally mill about without any purpose, and hopefully upset the food plates some of the liners up may already have, thus wreaking our own brand of Baby Boomer chaos and destruction. Note to selves: PLAY DUMB and continue on your way like nothing happened."

The way to deal with this, Fair Readers, is to exact a similar form of revenge. But make it clear that YOU are indeed doing it on purpose. Wreck their days for a change!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Back from Hiatus

Yes, it's been a couple months or more since my last entry. Sorry to keep you waiting, Faithful Readers. I was away, as some of you are aware, in Hawai'i gathering more research data.

I've come back and compiled that data now, and I hope to enlighten you on a couple of points.

First and foremost, the American Tourist Baby Boomer is a real sight to behold. They are about as stereotypically accurate as one could imagine. If you've ever watched an episode of Hawaii Five-O, I can only say that they're still dressing that way. Not the locals, mind you, only the tourists. And they're about as mindless as you could imagine as well.

They wander the airports and local streets wearing muu muus. They make inappropriate comments and observations about the local culture. They cannot for the lives of them understand why anyone might find their behaviour obnoxious or annoying in the least.

Case in point: we visited a DELIGHTFUL restaurant in Kaua'i where the staff and management do their utmost best to ensure the comfort and satisfaction of their customers. They are typically pleasant, as any REAL Hawaiian would be. Given that one of our visits was on Mother's Day - which to the lay person, is a HUGE deal in Hawaii, the most I've ever seen in any of my travels anywhere - this particular establishment was busier than usual. Most people thought ahead far enough to actually make reservations for a Mother's Day breakfast. Most of the rest of us decided to take our chances and were understanding of the fact that there would inevitably be a waiting period to get a table.

Most, but not all. Enter the typical, boorish mainlander. Judging by his accent, he was from somewhere deep in the midwest of the United States. And very much a Baby Boomer. AFTER he was seated at a table, AFTER he and his mother and other guests finished their meals, he saw fit to lecture one of the waiting staff of the wait he had to endure and essentially quoted chapter and verse why he thought his meal should be free of charge and that the level of service he received was not the same level to which he had become accustomed.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

What he failed to realize was 1) many of the waiting staff were mothers themselves who did not get the luxury of a breakfast from their children, 2) he received excellent service despite any kind of waiting period, 3) he knew it was going to be Mother's Day that day and could have thought ahead - like many others - to make reservations, and finally 4) NO ONE CARES.

Still, because Hawaiian businesses are so heavily reliant on tourism revenue, the shift manager decided to give him a discount off the cost of his meal regardless. Yet he was still not gracious enough to accept with thanks that she did that much for him and his guests.

This, my friends, is Reason No. 812 to start spaying and neutering the Baby Boomer population NOW. Yes, I realize they've already had their children (who, in turn, also have inflated senses of entitlement), but you have to admit, it would still be gratifying to do it to them.