Waste not, want not

What is the unerring capacity of a Baby Boomer to forget the past? While I applaud many of them for joining our little 'Save the Planet' bandwagon, many of them don't seem to understand that it was, in fact, many of them who created the problem in the first place. The insatiable consumption of our planet's resources, the casual disregard for how their actions affected not only the world and creatures around them, but also the generations coming up behind them.

Perhaps if they remember anything, it should be this: WE don't forget.

I just feel that there should be some kind of compensation from the Baby Boomers. Perhaps some kind of mandatory prostration...if anyone's got any ideas, I'd love to hear them as I've been told that they probably won't go for the public spankings I had in mind. I dunno. I thought it was pretty tame compared to some of my other ideas which I never actually vocalized. Though it did occur to me that since many Baby Boomers are also Swingers (thanks for all the new forms of venereal diseases, by the way...), the public spankings might not garner the effect I had desired.

OK fine. I admit it.

I'm a bit obsessive about this issue. I'm not even exactly sure when it started, if you want the God's honest truth. But here it is anyway.

Quite some time ago, I started noticing certain patterns. Working at a law firm, you meet a variety of people from all classes and age groups. The human mind invariably starts noticing patterns through observation. It's just how we're wired.

What I noticed was this, particularly in real estate transactions: younger people, my own age and at the time usually much younger (the group known as "Gen Y" or "The Millennials") than myself, were all too happy to do whatever was necessary to make their real estate transactions go smoothly. They didn't care if I asked for their first-born. They were just gobsmacked to be getting their own place. They were a real treat to deal with. I mean that sincerely. Anything, or in this case, anyone who made my job easier was always a treat.

A similar pattern was noticeable with my own generation, Generation X (and, incidentally, if you ask me, we have the coolest moniker). Granted they had some more obligations to consider in terms of payouts, but just the same, they were eager to work with me in making sure that they did their part to facilitate a clean completion of their transaction.

But oh no, NOT the Baby Boomers. They took it upon themselves to do just the opposite. All the money in the world was in their pockets, yet our feeble little fee which was less than 1% of the total of their transaction was still TOO MUCH and they did their best to whittle down the numbers. I'm convinced that I could have done the work completely pro bono and it still wouldn't be good enough for them. Not to mention their talent for omitting certain relevant points of information from not only me but their realtors, which resulted in more time and energy expended on their behalf. For those not in the biz, all a law firm really has to sell is time. If additional time is expended, we have to charge for it. Try explaining that to a Boomer, though. Perhaps I should have offered free Viagra samples as incentive to work WITH me, their representative and agent, instead of against me. Betcha it would have worked.

If you believe that, I've got a bridge I can sell you.

So...first thing I'd like to point out about Baby Boomers is their overwhelming sense of entitlement. One has to ask, though, where it comes from. Let's assess...


They started out as the children of "The Silent Generation"...you know, the ones who never spoke out against war of any kind, child abuse by parochial organizations, and basically just did what they were told like mindless automotons. It's understandable why the Baby Boomers took exception to this (my guess is because while their parents never SAID anything, it's also clear they never LISTENED and Baby Boomers have an insatiable need to be the centres of attention) and therefore attempted to forge their own way in the world by rebelling in any way they imagined. The idea was great. The follow-through, not so much.


Hard to follow-through when you're hopped up on whatever form of narcotic you can get your hands on. Attention spans suffer significantly whilst under the influence. Here's my plan:

On April Fools Day 2009, I participated in what might best be described as an experiment. Regardless of what you want to call it, the results proved my theory of Baby Boomer Gullibility was correct.

With the help of two Millennials, we convinced a Baby Boomer to telephone a 'Yuri Lyon' and provided her with a telephone number which was in actual fact the phone number for a local zoo. Unable to resist temptation, we stood inconspicuously outside her office door and listened as she asked for Mr. Lyon and noted how long it took for it to register that it was in fact a ZOO that she was phoning. It's regrettable, but it took a couple of minutes for it to sink in that it was in fact a gag and even then it took the receptionist at the Zoo to point that out as delicately as she could.

[NB: If you're a Baby Boomer reading this, you're probably not getting the gag, and so I thank you for once again perpetuating your stereotype.]

Any good scientist will tell you that you should conduct your experiment more than once to ensure that your results are accurate. We gave the phone message slip to yet another Baby Boomer and again, my theory was proved.

This is invaluable data and my message to all Gen X'ers is that we should make note of this and use it to our advantage in the future.

They'll believe ANYTHING and, what's more, they'll do it WITHOUT QUESTION.

Uh-huh, I hear ya. So much potential.

Gerard Butler

Hottest guy on the planet. There, I said it.

Comes second only to my husband.

And, come to think of it, NEITHER OF THEM are Baby Boomers.

Huh. Weird.

Before we get too ahead of ourselves

I have to admit. I have a few Boomer friends. Not many, granted, but a few. I also have three siblings...all Boomers. To their credit, however, they are Boomer only in age, not in mentality. I am proud to say that my influence has obviously kept them on my side of the coin.

Yes, I say that in jest. Obviously. Notice how only the Boomers got offended by that last statement up there? Thank you for proving my point, Boomers.

But I digress....

I have a pink folder. Inside the pink folder is data I've collected over the past little while regarding the generation gaps between Boomers, Xers and Ys. Boomers think they have a pretty good handle on this phenomenon, but trust me, they don't. Completely in the dark. It's a side effect of self-absorption, from which many of them suffer. Started in the 60s with their whole overly zealous yet poorly thought out ideals.

Case in point: it's no coincidence that with the dawning of the Boomers' retirement on the horizon, that the pharmaceutical companies are producing in record quantities such useful - albeit hazardous - drugs as Viagra and Cialis. So much for free love. Or peace, for that matter.

Is it just me?

Seriously. I'm asking. I have a few friends who agree with my Boomer Theory, but I've always been a little suspicious they may be just humouring me to get me to shut up about it that much sooner. I take no offence. I understand it's a pretty heavy topic. Boomers are statistically 'heavy' in terms of population and weight, so it's only natural a topic concerning them would also be equally, morbidly obese, if only even figuratively speaking.

But I need to know that I'm not alone in my quest for knowledge and validation. I'd welcome the chance to share experiences and thoughts regarding this subject from anyone who has also been seeking reconciliation in this particular issue.

Pleading my case

While this blog is primarily intended to be my own personal warpath against Baby Boomers (more on that later), don't be surprised if you check in sometime and find some blurb about something completely unrelated and irrelevant to this blog's title is interjected at intermittent intervals throughout. Just sayin'.

Introduction

Bear with me...I'm new at this. Just a little idea I came up with to try and help me work out some things lolling about in my brain which just need to get out of there and into cyberspace.

Things like the things that pique my interest, grate on my nerves...pretty much, when you think about it, like everyone else's blog, but with a bit more sardonic flavour.

If that makes any sense.......

In any event, I'm happy that you could stop by and have a boo. Hope you'll kick off your shoes and stay awhile.